I'm sorry for not posting anything recently. Lets just skip that part and start with this post. Finally, 2009 has come to an end. Selalunya each year we tend to look back to our past and wonder if we had make it a good year or otherwise, we would look into our failure and achievement we've made throughout this whole year, count the people that have been involved in our life recently and begin to make new plans for years ahead. Its a different feeling altogether.
What a year it had been for me.
It wasn't a good start though. 2009 started with sorrow and very much depression from my side. And it took me a while to realize that I'm 20 enough for life and its really time for me to move stuffs aside and start to think about my life more seriously. Its not that I never had a thought about my life and things like that, but heck, yeah, I really haven't done it in a more serious way before I'd say . Not until my life turns 20 when I started to actually spend time to think about what do I really want in my life.
That was when I started to get involved with my own life. I started to get to know more people and started to do what I do best, in certain things. I'm glad most of the people I met this year had brought out the best in me and I'm glad I've been given opportunity that I couldn't possibly ask for more. I think this year I have found the pieces of my life that i broke the previous year. Last year I was broken and I was, everywhere. Finally I had put it altogether and found myself back.
Like everyone else, my life too, has been a roller coaster ride. It has been such a hectic month and its going to be more hectic for the next 31 days. and for the past couple of weeks I've been juggling my time with meetings, assignments, classes and exams. but put on the positive side of it. The hardest part for me is the time management. There are days when I wish like it was the end of the world. but most of the times, I like to take risk and look at the pretty sight of what am I doing recently. And so, I moved forward.
2009 is going to end hectically and this is not a perfect time for a sad news i'd say. I'm hoping for a happy ending. instead, one of the most hardest situation that I rather not think about is happening. Everyday since I received the news i would tell myself, that its okay, if it doesn't happen now, it will at some point in my life, if its meant to be, it will happen somehow. I swear I wasnt prepare for anything alike and I was down to tears when I heard what Basirah had to tell me.
Awak sedih tak bila kita dah takda kat subang nanti? sebab kita tau kita akan sangat sedih. selama ni kalau awak cuti kita terganggu sangat sebab nak jumpa. even pegi isi minyak dah make me happy enough. nanti bila dah jauh, sape nak layan awak yg gila mengada ni? gi teman kemana saja. janganlah lupa kita bila kita dah takde di sisi. dah start rindu awak pun sebenranya. cepatlah balik :(
- basirah
I cant put words in my feelings. I'm not going to lie because, at this point of situation, I am very glad that I've been busy. But the truth is, I am being delusional by avoiding myself to think about those things that have been in my mind this whole week. I am not having a good time with my life at this particular time of year. But I had enough support from people around me to keep me going on. But the one precious I had depended my whole life on, failed to keep me going, and she is moving out from Subang :(
I grew up in a surrounding that teaches me the feeling of wanting to love the whole world. That place teaches me the meaning of being appreciated by others. A place where I found those people I grew up with. Friendship is a big word there. It is indeed, the most powerful system that ever exist in Subang. What makes us different from other places is, we keep in touch. even Emak has friends gathering in USJ every year. You see,it isn't just friendship we've built there. It is much more than that.
One thing I can assure you, I will never forget each and everyone of you people that have been involved in my life. I wont because I couldn't. It's a long post indeed. To sum up, I would just want to say, this year, have been such a roller coaster ride. One minute I was there, all blinded by good things happening in my life. too blind to even notice that certain things was just not working out. And another second, I'm here. Wanting badly for Basirah to stay at least, when I ring u for breakfast.