what makes me happy

i have all the time in the world and i googled for pictures of delicious foods.hehe.

chocolate hersheys cake

ice cream waffle

banana pie

so people,

thank u :):)

the notes

today is another day.as i sat by the window wondering about stupid things,i asked myself what i really want in life.many people will answer,i want to finish up my studies,get a good job and FINALLY get marry or in other terms "settle down".people answer that question that way and ended it up at the married part.does everyone rily think getting married is the way to settle things down? i have a big doubt on it.in fact,i'm starting to wonder is there such fact dat we have been guarantee to marry our TRUE LOVE instead of a jerk? how can everyone be so sure when they get married.i mean,how on land when they said the magical words 'i do' they seems to b so sure about their decision? i mean,come on.i need the answer.in my life,i've been in a serius relationship with some guys and i never ever had a 'feeling' about me getting married with anyone of them.i'm worried if i wont be able to feel that forever.its stupid when they say,i'm saying this bcoz i never been in love with that so called true love.that is bullshit.when i fall in love with my exes,i love them deeply.in fact, i once said to syafiq that i noe he's my true love bcoz..bcoz..ok.stop it right there.ok.i'm running out of idea to do somemore obiter dictum about this crap.i'm writing this bcoz,my cousin gaga+mus and aien+his bf going to marry this year.yirpie 4 them!:) gaga and mus have been in a relationship for TEN-LONG-YEARS. i'm happy they are finally getting marry.congratulations all.

good friends

some people leave
some people forget
some people just dont know
some people stay
some people cant let go
some people are too insecure to leave
some people leave but come back to visit often, have tea or something. but apparently, even after everything is ironed out, it just isnt enough.

what they dont know is,everythings changed.
what they dont realised is what they did is way absurd.
what they thought is i'm leaving a happy life.
what they ignore is my feeling.
its u.u people hurt me so bad i wish i can just move on without u guys.
i'm hurting and i'm crying.
friends.do u fucking care what i fucking feel?

what i need is just some attention.a lil tiny bit of attention i demand.i dont like feeling left out.u both hurt me so much and yet,u didnt realise.one of u,i msgd u and u just forget.i ran out to fatin's and cried. i didnt tell her what was happening.i just cry. i just cry.the next day i cry.the following day i cry.and today,i'm crying. as for the other 1 person,thank u for making me the last person to know everything.

tell me i'm super sensitive and i'll thank you for caring.
tell me i've done the same thing u're doing rite now when i was in a relationship and i'll turned back time.
tell me u need time and i'll give u a big one.
tell me i'm just a pathetic friend whom doesnt like to see her friends living a happy life and i'll just cry.
tell me i'm not important anymore and i'll thank u for being honest.

2 0 0 8

the most bad thing happened in 2007- spm result

the most good thing happened- getting over with the bad one

thank you Allah for everything.

lets hope things will be better this year.

dont just hope,pray.

happy new year friends.

maaf

to emak
tonite
sorry for keeping you waiting.
sorry for coming back late.
sorry for not studying.
sorry for making u mad.

to ayah
today
sorry for being a bad girl.
sorry for borrowing ur car till midnite.
sorry for spending lots of ur money.

to the both of u
since i 1st step in mmu,lots of things happen.
i just want to say sorry
for not being able to pay back all ur money.
sorry for not getting good results.
sorry for failing papers.
sorry for having too much good time.
sorry for doing things in melaka without permission.
sorry for always making u worried.
sorry for not calling.

in this whole life,
i'm sorry
for making u cry.
sorry for spending hours with frens.
sorry for being too loud.
sorry for all the arguments.
sorry for taking things for granted.
sorry for betraying trust.
sorry for not being as good as kakak.
sorry for not being as brilliant as wani.
sorry for just being an adik.


for u my creator,
i'm sorry for myself.

hello

since i hardly post nowadays,these are some updates:

i eat a lot since i arrived home.
i enjoyed my raya day.
i shopped.
i failed.
i study a bit at home.
i havent see my friends.
i miss my mmu friends.
i think i hurt a lots of ppl in mmu in the past few weeks.
i am sellfish at times.
i want to buy the jacket i saw in jusco melaka.
i hope pyramid's jusco sell it.
i went to midnite movie with sara.
i watched enchanted and think it was just okay.
i went to midnite movie with them.
i watched golden compass and think it was a bullshit.
i went to midnite supper with fatin,min,zora n irshad.
i want to eat more.
i watch hafiz's video everyday since i got the video.
i joined a treasure hunt.
i get to know some new foreigners which was osama and murad.
i promise to study atleast abit tomorrow.
i think i'm happy.
i love irshad khairi johari so very much.:)
i loike roti pisang d way u do.i loike d mamak place we lepak for hours at midnite.
i think hafiz realise my existance now.
i hope things wont be that bad for syam and batch.
i am praying.
i am thinking of moving out to a new room.soon.
i slept at fatin's for 2 nights.
i am getting lazy eachday.
i need something or rather someone to push me.
i need somone but i dont say it must be a boy.
i dont need a boy indeed.
i think that is all for now.


thank u readers.
love.

another fuck up saturday in melaka

lasagna.pasta : assalamualaikum

biskut.milo : wslm.mak tgh buat ape?

lasagna.pasta : ktorg baru lps mkn.dah lunch ke?

biskut.milo : tgh lunch..

lasgna.pasta : mkn ape?

biskut.milo : twiggies

lasagna.pasta : twiggies tu ape?

biskut.milo : roti

lasagna.pasta : ha roti je??

thank you for appearing

"i'm afraid of everythings happening around me.what i need is just the thought of having you.i dont need you to say or do anything.with that thought,i survive well.

even in just milisecond u appear,

even if u said ambigous n uncertain words

even u always left me out

even i always waited for u in tears,

i smiled.

and that is what counts.

i smiled."

made by-aliakama

deklarasi

celabration

kim's bday

mereka sy suke

so much to do so little time

i'll be very busy for the following week. pls dont say any words about getting home or any words relating to it.this includes:

bus,bus tickets,melaka central,delecious food.

yes. delecious food made me wanna go back.tp xboleh!!i have 2 prepare 4 my midterm,assignment and presentation. i dont have much money left.and i want to eat proper food. sick of nasi paprik,tomyam and all those food here.i DESIRE and NEED to eat the food in PAN'S BAKERY.omg.and i miss eating KENNY with my favourite-all-time 3 side dish wish is always to be the savoury rice,coleslaw and macaroni and cheese.YUMMIEH.i have 3 days of classes at 8am.i seldom play basketball at night.after class i have meetings.MIDNIGHT is the only time i have 4 myself and i chat :):) i miss all the people in subang.i miss subang itself.and most of all,i miss YOU.

teenagers i am

d tot distracted me a lil more less. to the world,

.i . am . not . a . kid . anymore.

i remember ali,who happened 2 be one of amzar's fren told me dat i behave like a kid.he told me,xmatang la n watsoeva.i hated him with all my heart and still am now. all my frens know dat ali and i cant stand 2 face eachother not even a second without fighting.i HATE him.so people,lets get diz straight.

STOP calling me a KID

Everyone does.this includes my own mom,my kakak,adik,aunty,cousins and frens.they run all around the world telling everyone when i 1st got my driving license.thier question was,'sampai ke adik nak bwk kete?' pfft.when i,me,myself and i drive 2 my cousins house in putra they were like,so terkejut and claim it to be as 'the most berani thing a KID would have done'

hello ppl,i'm mattured enough to atleast think about my own life.so if u think i am kid,u r a kid 2.u noe y? bcause i said so. a kid noe whose their fren n whose not.i'm crapping because i like 2 crap.so dont even bother y i post diz.especially 2 my cousins and my adik,even if u call me ADIK,doesnt mean u can treat me as an adik.i am a big sis.and 4 god sake,i'm 18.18 means,teenager.get wat i mean here? see. i am a good girl.haha.so BACK OFF.

malicious

i'm cutting short this survey.enjoy.

[4]wat it takes 4 u 2 fall in love?

ok.i dunno if i rilly have a crush on him rite now.i just feel it now.as everyone noes,i'm not dat kind of ppl who will have a crush on a guy in d 1st sight.i'm not d type of prsn who love market ppl.yelah,4 sure a good looking guy will atrract my attention n ofcoz 4 some reason,i'll stalk.i am a person who will love someone not in our 1st meet but in a million meetings.i'm not complex.u may ask all my ex-es.a guy dat really can caught my eyes and heart is d one who impress me with his personality.i'm not fussy.i dont mind if hes from kpg or any parit buntar or batu gajah or wateva a place might have be given a name with.when i fall in love,i just cant tell why.its d spark i saw in him and everything dat no one else can feels but me.i hated ku when i 1st step in d class.after going out with him and knowing him a lil bit less,i falled into him.and now,currently i dunno y i fall into a person whom i hardly know,whom i hardly see.this is so not me.dat is y i'm confuse.oh god.i'm starting to like him so much.and i dont even know what to do.i like him but i'm too scared to felt this way.

[05] Do you believe that everyone hasa soul-mate?

maybe.i'm not sure



[06] Whats your current relationship problem?

missing someone badly



[07] Have you ever had your heartbroken?

several times.but i've moved on



[08] Your thoughts of longdistancerelationships?

sweet but hard.worth trying tho.



[09] Have you ever seen a friend more than a friend?

i think no



[10] Do you believe thestatement, "Once a cheateralways a cheater"?

no



[1 1] How many kids do you want tohave?

i dunno



[1 2] what is/are your favoritecolours?

white /pink



[14] Do you believe you truly onlylove once?

no



[15] Imagine you're 79 & your spousejust died,would you get re-marry?

no i wont



[16] At what age did you startnoticing the oppositesex?

6yrs



[17] What song do you want played atyour wedding?

paramore :P



[18] Do you love anyone ritenow?

yah.maybe.no.i dunno.

its a girl thing

she is the 2nd child.being the middle child,means being stuck between the eldest and the youngest.it makes her grown up as a competitive person.but even with her competitive streak,she is often much more flexsible about life because she has always had to fix in with the routine of the first born.it makes her diplomatic and social,because she has always had to get on with everyone.maybe this is why she can be compatible with any type of person in a new place.

behind this big headed-arrogant-stuborn-confident-hot tempered teenage girl is a girl who wants a friend .a true friend.a girl who has learned to be terrified of being in a place with no friends and a lots of stranger.

she has basierah for all her need.she is having the serious hard time in her stage of life,and need serious advice.batch is not 'just friend' .batch is confidantes and mentors and teachers and students all rolled into one.

-the end-

p/s-i took that picture and edited it myself.dat girl in the picture,its me.

harsh days

i'm sitting here all by myself after crying all day long. i dont wanna talk bout it. to mdm wahida whom i noe wont read this blog,i thank you 4 being my
lecturer for about 4 month. its just profesionality that i demand and apperentely,i didnt get. its the consideration i desire.but then,i didnt get it.
for all the personal things between u and me that clearly effected my result,i thanked you for all.
its bad to talk bad about teachers and lecturers.so,i wont talk bad anymore.not in this whole long life.not anymore.saya redha mdm.

to mak and ayah and kakak,
i dunno how to tell u all about it.its a big thing.i've been crying all day not because of me,but because of u three.
the ppl who care most bout my achievement. for all i know,i've done good enough in my mid term and clearly,it was a good start.
i started from scratch.recovering from my spm-result-sadness,i work hard when i came 2 mmu. i've proven to them all that i really want to do this,
which is the law thing.although i have been forced to study accounting and COMPUTER APPLICATION.its the law subject that counts.but apperently,i passed accountings
with flying colours and i passed comp apps with 32/50 which i think is OK for a person who hated comp apps so much.atleast,i've proven dat i did a lots of works in reading
and studies.

mak and ayah appericiated my work and i thank all of u for all the compliment.its not the compliment or any gifts i wanted.its just the satisfaction
of hearing those words and knowing that u all were happy.i know u guys worried so much when u first sent me here,2 mmu.which parents doesnt? it is a private institution
which u noe,the kind of all the kaya2 ppl who dont want 2 study,study in.atleast,i've builded up ur trust in sending me here aftr that kind of result.after all,mmu is not DAT bad in studies.
in fact,my pl03/pl04 class have all the pandai2 ppl.all the chinese are the bomb,i tell u.the BOMB.majority of our classmates gets atleast 5 a's for spm.most of the chinese are the straight a's student.
the chinese are anti-govermen-ing.that is y they chosed doing law in mmu instead of iptaS.they got looks,they got money and they got brain! jo is my personal favourite idol.oh and,david.hehe.
i dunno what am i doing here.it looks like convincing ppl.yeah,it is trying to convince,maybe.
w-h-a-t-e-v-a.

bye

hari raya

maka dgn ini,daku akan mula berblog tentang raya yakni raya yg kedua dahulu.kerana camera dibawah dan sgt malas utk ambil.gmbr2 raya pertama semua ada dibwh.

raya kedua
lokasi-rumahku
masa-tdk di

kanak-kanak:assalamualaikum!!! assalamualaikum!!!

wani:dik! ade org nak raya.

alia:pggl je ah.best pe

wani: dik,kwn wani ah!!

alia:pggl ah masuk

di dapur
makcik dan emak sedang sibuk memasak kerana ptg nnt mummy n family,maklung n family,titi n family n kaknyah n family nak dtg.jadi,daku tidak sanggup membebani mereka lagi.maka..

makcik:dik,nak buat air ape ye?

alia:xpelah cik.biar adik buat.

makcik:oklah

alia:nak gune jug mane cik?

makcik:gune yg besar lah.nnt mummy nak dtg.buat semua terus

adik.xnak ah! adik buat nnt xsdp.buat utk bdk2 ni boleh la.

makcik:yelah.amik yg kecik kat atas tu

setibanya di depan,daku jamu kanak2 dgn air oren itu.beberapa minit kemudian,

kanak1: wani mana kak?

alia:die naik atas jap.nape? (igtkan mereka mahu ke toilet)

kanak2:ktorg xminum air oren kak.kasi air masak boleh?

alia:oh.ok2

daku pon pergi ke dapur dan tergelak bagai nak rak bersama maid ku,yakni makcik.

alia:chey2 budak2 tu..xminum air oren.ckp je lah air tu manis.hahahahah

makcik:manis sgt dik!!!

hahahahahah.maka,kesimpulannya..daku mmg lah tiada bakat di dapur.walaupon se-jug air oren.dont try me.hahahahahahahaha.wani dan emak juga tergelak selepas memarahi ku kerana tidak tahu membuat kerja semudah itu dan kelihatan agak memalukan didepan kanak2 itu.kanak2 itu adalah sgt sopan,jika telah lahir dan dibesarkan sebagai seorang MELAYU,melayu jugalah mereka.kita dididik utk berckp dgn berkias,yakni kononya sopan.hahahaha.daku dan air oren yg manis itu..haih..hari raya..hari raya...:P

surveys

hahahah.i wont eva post a surveys in my fs.so,i'll do it here.hello.org pon nk try ok.hahah




If your doctor told you TODAY thatyou were pregnant, what would you say?
hahah.doktor ni luculah


Would you move to another state orcountry to be with the one you love?
i rather die than live witout him...hahah.hows that?

Which one of your friends do youthink would make the best doctor?
i think its shahira.and syahirah,my kakak

Are you afraid of falling in love?
no! i'm not.why should we? ok2.some ppl might say they r afraid of getting hurt.but think it simple this way-u still play sports when u actually noe the posibilty of getting hurt is like,so high kan?
so,the risk is there.just try ur luck lah kan babe.:)

Is there someone who pops into yourmind at random times?
yes,ofcourse.

Would you stop talking to yourfriends because you hooked up with anew person?
depends.hahah.bpk jahat.no lah.i wont.try me.

When was the last time you flew ina plane?
em.last year.chup.or is it diz year? xigt.dat indon,bandung's journey.where i met amirul asyraf..hehe

What did the last text message yousent say?
'ok.afta zohor'-min

What features do you find mostattractive in the opposite sex?
dulu,i suke tgk thier eyes.but now,as i'm growing 18 i usually stalk their body.hahah.hot body counts.

What is a goal you would like toaccomplish in the near future?
duhhh...nak good result 4 my finals.

How many kids do you want to have?
2

Would you make a good parent?
i certainly will.hahaha.geli ok.

Honestly, what's on your mind rightnow?
pukul berapa nak pegi library? bila nak start study?

Shoe size?
4/5

Best place to eat?
johnys.

Favorite animal?
I HATE ANIMALS.

Who knows you the best?
siti aliah :P

Do you miss someone today?
yes! very!

Last person to lay in your bed?
M

Last person to see you cry?
M

the last person who im u
hari

last talk to the fon
shera

who do u sit in class?
M.smlm min.m xdtg class.

who is ur favourite techer?
kalau kat mmu,its miss chin:)

where and when do u last take ua car ride?
last monday nght.it was naufal and min's bday.naufal drive us to jusco n we had our meal-after-dinner in secret recipe.pastu mkn lagi kat pantai klebang.we went out at 8 and came back 2 mmu aroun 1 am.it was an EXITING journey 2 remeber.we eat,stalk,laugh like mad,eat again,scream in d car like no one will hear us,sing aerosmith's song,sing lagu raya in secret recipe,watch live porn.seeeeriusly.HAHA.we had a great laugh.sgt best.sgt2 sgt best!

what was the last thing u ate?
dua benjo cheese kat 'burger techno' hehe

what do u like about school?
everything except 4 the classes.

what are you wearing on ur feet?
my brain.hahah.dlm bilik dongs.nk pki ape.i'm wearing my brain on my feet sounds gila cool.agaga

what is the last wovie u watched?
hairspray.gile tah fuck up.benci mahkota parade!!!!!

why do u have to got to school?
because everyone does

In two words, explain yesterday hari rabu

Who made u smile today? havent smile yet

What were u doing this morning at 8? sleeping

Something that happened to u in1985?

i was playing around in heaven when i saw 1 guy that really cought my eyes.i cant stop staring at him.suddenly,he approach me and he said he wanted 2 know me better.i was so happy.we became friends.and after a long while,he said that he had fall in love with me since the 1st day he saw me.i was surprised.seriously i did. i nerver thought he will ever feel the same way.n yah,that is wat happened in 1985.long story tho.

Last thing someone else said to you? u nak keluar g mane2 ke pasni?

What was ur answer?
ha ah.nak gi library

Your current To-do list?

presentation

Where is ur best friend right now?
in my heart

What made you sad today? late msg reply

What can make you happy? happy meal.haha.bodoh

Beauty is beast's girlfren.

If someone you love forgets youand think your're distrubing tohim/her then how would you feel?

it will certainly hurt me.tp after a long while,i will certainly hate that person and start cursing.like..MAY U BURN IN HELL U SICK HORIBLE BASTARD.like that.

/////survey is fun/////

.reminder.

websitea

presentation mlha

presentation gpl

accounts assignmenta

apoinment with AA

meet mdm aiza ASAP

smart carda

pay feesa

then only i can start..

STUDY

::missing::

i always needed time on my own.i neve tot i'd need u when i cry.:(
and d days feel like YEARS when i'm alone.when u walk away i count d steps dat u take..
DO U SEE HOW MUCH I NEED U RITE NOW..

::when::u're::gone::

the pieces of my heart r missing u.
the face i came 2 noe is missing 2.
the words i NEED 2 hear 2 always get me tru d day..
and make it okay
i MISS YOU

the end

enough is just enough.
i wont burden my mind,body n soul just 2 love him.
the best part of the day is,i think LOVE is just right
infront of me but i just didnt see it all this years.
maybe i'm just being 2 scared 2 admit that the love,is there.
apa2 pon,my final dah dkt.dis is a small thing dat i should ignore 4 a while.
ala dah bertahun2 i ignore that feeling 2wrds him.
sorry guys,klu diz post sounds a bit confusing.
i dunno y ami writing this.
i'm here in melaka after a so not long holiday in subang.
its fun 2have more ppl in sbg at times.
badot,pele,faiz,annis,maliq.
they r not sbg-ianz ppl but they love sbg d way all of us did.
i'll sure miss sbg after diz
its not even 1day here in melaka,but i already miss subang.
especially the ppl there.
melaka is forever a no-no place 4 me.
i just hope n pray hard 2 god dat i;ll survive this week,n the following week n the weeks later n all those weeks coming.
god noes how much i suffer here.
its torturing my mental each n everyday.
ergh.stop craping al.better get going 2 class.
kwn2,doakan kt ok2 diz week.hari isnin smpi rabu adalh penentu minggu kt kat mmu.
lps rabu,hari khamis akan kelihatan tenang semula.isnih smpi rabu selalunya hari plg susah skali kat cni.doakan kt ae! lurve2~