I'm at home since thursday,4pm. it was a great weekend.

saturday
went to pyramid with wani.since the school holiday has started,she was so bored sitting at home doing nothing.she claimed that to me and i said,u are 13years old for god sake.i've been there and 13 years old life are suppose to be boring anyway.and she said,u have kakak during your time.ok.she got her point there.being a very understanding big sis pfft,i followed her.its not dat hard to pleased a kid.u know,bwk gi jalan2 and buy some things to eat and sing songs in the car sudah memadai.so we did some sisterly moment yesterday and it was fun because she did all the payment.bwahaha.




sunday
today is a big day for badriah,basirah's sister.its her engagement day.batch was a bit streesful yesterday but it was worth it.kan.the majlis went smoothly .the food was great.bad kelihatan sgt cantik.the ring was nice.the hantaran and all was perfect.badriah is only 21 years old and already has a fiance.batch bile lg? haha. seronok dapat jumpe maliq,batch and khairil.we sitted under the khemah lame gila.mkn2,borak2 sampai jadi org terakhir kat situ n kene kemas meja sendiri.each of us bwk kete masing2 dtg and lepas dah puas berjumpe mereka pulang ke destinasi masing2.maliq off to putrajaya,khairil to pick her sister at home. yhe day was not over for batch and i.

we went to buy the bus tickets for me at usj.since i didnt drive for 2 weeks i kinda miss driving and i dont want to go home too early so we decieded to have some drinks at old town white coffee in taipan.wearing baju kurung,we lepak-ed and minum there.the food menu was tempting i tell u.tapi i dont want to be fatter than i already am so we just ordered drinks for each of us and shared an ice cream toast.batch's ice blended hazelnut sedappp gileeeee. and my mocha was pahit.titik.

sent batch home after isi minyak and i didnt went back straight home instead,i went to my tadika.batch mesti terkejut baca ni.because she didnt even know this.actually at times,i have this 'thing' of going to my tadika in ss 19.i always go there tanpa pengetahuan siapa2.i will usually go there and park my car infont of the gate and i will sit in the car,turn off the engine and do nothing.ss 19 is a very paecefull area.and i like the atmosphere there.it remind me of the place where i started to know the world.the place where aliahkama begin.

u.i miss you.i miss u so much :(

anyway,tomorrow my bus will be at 8.30am.i got class at 1pm.so,see u in melaka! :D

For those who have been following my blog since ages,u might noticed that i always claimed happines in mmu doesnt stay long.i'm not blaming the place nor the people.sometimes it was just me.

2years in malacca made me realised that theres not even one person around me who never been in the social crisis.i've been observing all this while and i came out with the teori that happiness here is never going to be forever.take note that this doesnt apply to everyone here.i'm writing base on people around me.

lets just put it this way.people kept on changing friends.this semester u're with this one of click,the next semester u'll be with the other.this happened during the foundation year.and while entering degree,the 'changing frens' thingy will slow down and u'll find a group of people whom u think best fits u.correct me if i'm wrong yah mmuians.this is just one of my tak cool teories.

as for me,i've been bitched around for a long period of time.one girl made this statement.'she has ruined my life'. i.have.ruined.someone's.life.how cool would that be? and a guy wrote this somewhere and i accidently read it.'alia,anda hipokrit'. cool kan? theres more things happened and it will take forever for me to list it down.i'm tired of being all weepy and sad while people doesnt stop condeming.

theres this group of people whom i once called frens who actually cant stop condeming.she said i've ruined her life because she claimed,i've taken all the attention of her friends and she felt so left out.i've commited theft for stealing friends from her.she always questioned things like,why on earth did all her friends 'forgive me too easily' when i did anything wrong.or in another word,why didnt they just ditch me.

this one guy,claimed that he knows me better than anyone.i dont know if u're reading but i..i dont know.we have done so many things together. i appreciate those times when u cried while i was crying.i appreciate every single second u made me laugh.but u know,things happened.u know me well to judge me kan and i have nothing to say anymore.i cant even look at your face in the class because it scares me.i'm scared that we'll be frens again and kt akan gado lagi.

so in this time being,i dont think i can manage to face it all over again.

i've done several bad things in the past.mcm rosakkan hp,rosakkan jam,rosakkan everything i ever touched.i said things that hurt people.like subang is the best.i love my family and i hate this place.i'm loud.i dont have friends and i dont even bother to make one.i dressed up my own way and i dont like what normal people like.i speak up honestly and i doesnt hide what i feel.things like this make me the worst person in the world that should be killed.and they did.hurrah.

i've been on my bended knee once when they bitched around about me to everyone and i would never let it happened again.fatin,i'm sorry i dragged u into my own made crisis.i never ask anyone to be on my side because i know who i am and where i stand.i strongly belive that no one have the right to condemn me more than people in subang.they knew me inside and out since forever and yet,they havent complain.i screwed things several times but this bunch of people doesnt condemn.they adviced.

now it make sense why i have lost trust in people kan?

so,adik2.friends crisis in mmu is so a normal thing.i guess it happens everywhere.some people became friends for fame and money.some just too desperate to be in a click.some dont even know why they became friends and some doesnt even care to make one friend.all in all,i believe there is some of them who actually cares and stay with us.people we can call friends.if things happened,take time and try to settle it.langit tak selalunya cerah and we cant expect everyone to be perfect.

To tag along: you have to list 7 weird things about yourself,post it in your blog,tag at least 7 people (list their names),and comment on their blog to let them know that you just tagged them

(edited)

7 weird things about me.

1.People eating alone at any kedai makan can really make my eyes watery.
2.I cant drive while theres a lightening because I tend to cover my eyes if there is.
3.I can drive but i dont know how to isi minyak.its kinda phobia actually.
4.When I’m in denial,my voice completely change.
5.Dont talk to me when i'm sms-ing or reading.percayalah,i wont listen setitik pon.but i'll nod or 'em'-ing convincingly.
6.i hate hujan (hujan as in dat kugiran paling so called ngetop dan cool dan wangi dan cool dan best dan cool dan dugaan wtf di malaya) and hujan hates me.haha.ok i'm done.ignore the last point.
7. fill this with anything dat u could ever possibly think of.I HAVE CLASS.tqvm.

i tag:

the muarians :D

1.farah nasihah
2.siti najihah
3.zenal
4.boyle

5.and fatin.haha
6.ween
7.abil

baru perasan byk salah mse 1st time post di pagi hari tadi.maka perlu edit dan telah juga.hehe.diam.siapa kene tag die tak buat,berdosa.bwahaha

Fatin and i went for a jog just now at around 10pm.we ran 10 laps around the track.it was hell tiring because duhh.. it was ten-rounds for heaven sake.i ran so much today because its 14th.i just need to runnn and runnn away from everything and i did.we did.yeay.

tadikan izza,mira and ash cooked us dinner.na suruh aliahkama masak mmg harapan ah.thanks adik2.sedap secara jujur.betul.:) everyone is bored this whole day.weekend in malacca is so not a good idea. semua tido skit awal arini. korang ade futsal kot eh pagi nnt?

i have no roommate for tonight.fatin is not here.she fell asleep at kak rozie's room and being a 156cm girl,i obviously didnt have enough energy to carry that 170++ girl here,to our room.hanya mampu selimutkan jelah jenazah itu td.oh maaf.its just selimut dan jenazah kedengaran sesuai bersama.pls wake me up nnt fatin.we have PLANS for esok kan.kan.kan.

oh.after two comments i had,i think i should do something about my new habit.
izza fadzlani : huruf K kt keyboard kak alia rosak ke?
batchiwa : wehhh wujudkanlah K.

sumpa theres nothing to do with that k guy.it just...happened.atleast everyone understand ta is tak and na is nak kan.eventhough shera will be having a problem to diffrentiate between na (nak) and na (nina). apart from that,i cant see any other problem.ok.annoying kot.hehe.i'll change.


oh.na edit a pic la plak.i mean,nakKKK edit a picture to this post.here goes

izza,myra,fatin,alia.

it would be pathetic if

but i dont know how to

i'm scared one day i'll forget your

i am insanely

when i think about u too much i'll

i cant.i ta bole.i just cant.

this andy is freaking funny ouh. i cant stop laughing and its..... 3.53am. oh shit.bye.

http://lmtyas.blogspot.com/2008/11/i-fell-in-love-with-deejay.html

first day of school! first day of school!

glad to meet most of our classmates.tp sadly,i wont be in the same class with most of them.we get to choose any subjects that we want for this short sem and the 2 subjects that i'm taking this trimester areee TADAA.this.

Evidence & Procedure In Syariah Courts

and

Islamic Constitutional Law

oh dear Mr maasum,thank u for your support.thank u for believing in me when i have lost hope in myself.thanks for the time and the advice.sorry i screwed up your subject last semester.i'm glad we have you again this sem.lets just pray that,this will be a good start for everything.

Went out with shahira today.we were supposed to meet up at my place at 11 am.tp by 11 am i texted shera..

al- nak gerak gitau kt tau.kt xbangun lg ni.ngantuk.lmbt2 pon xpe.

shera- samela.baru bangun ni.ngantuk nak mati.

al- sudah! bangun! kt ta bole bukak mata ni.haha.eh.nanti kt anta awk balik naik kete ok ptg nnt.


shera-ok makciks.da bgn ni.cari baju.nak suro kt gi umah awk dulu or jumpe kat sane?

al-dtg sini dulu pls.nanti kena culik jalan kaki gi pyramid sorang2.

there goes the conversation.

then shera arrived.kak ida sent us to pyramid.bought movie tickets.went for lunch.went to watch movie.shopping.bought wrapz and mcd for adam.sitted,mkn,borak untill 8.30pm.went back home.

it was fun.we watched high school musical 3 (haha) and we ate Fig And Olive for lunch. rakan2,it is highly recommended. takdelah sedap sgt.cuma environment dan service adalah tip top.dan em.harga boleh tahan dan sy tidak habis.siapa peduli? kan.

rm27 per head.

it was a good day indeed.i received a gift from someone.

with the note -

alia busuk! dah lame tak bagi (u,anda,awk,kau) something kan? saw this thing tatkala berjalan2. so,teringat (u,anda,awk,kau) and TADAAA,for you! hee.

tiada madah puitis mahupun kata2 indah.cume,i've got a confession to make.

Dengan ini, (i,daku,kt,aku) mengisytiharkan bahawa (u,anda,awk,kau) mendapat anugerah "kawan (subang/melaka/parit buntar/kampung sukun) yang paling best dan yang penting, paling (i,daku,kt,kau) sayangi!

fuhh. dah.fullstop. :P

love

**

i'm not going to write the exact kata ganti diri written in the notes because it might be obvious utk diteka. seperti -awk : girls from subang,close frens,ex bf (hahah). anda-fatin and the gang,ex bf (pfft) you-majority mmuians,ex bf (haha). kau-maliq,ex bf (haha). haha. so siapa2 yang peduli ,teka lah.tak peduli sudah.sebab kt/i/sy/daku ta kesah. selamat malam semua.

Just a short post. yang tak de kena mengena dgn majoriti.hanya minoriti.

make this thing clear. i dont like the idea of getting in a new relationship sekarang. no mood for new friends,new boyfriends and new everything. i want to be a loner. for as long as i want. i dont trust people easily and i just love the way i dont trust people. ada masalah?

today,i revealed everything to her. i really think its the time. walaupon seperti membuka pekung di dada.wah.thanx for understanding.u know who you are. and where u stand in my heart.

ok dah bye!

when i let u go i know that was the last thing i needed, but i know it was for the best. for me,you,your stupidity and my ego. It is so hard to give up those feelings that i know might work out some day. tah lah but i know i will get there eventually. like ppl say lah kan.."some things happen and some things dont". the one that i had with u for 2 month obviously just wasnt meant to be.

anywayyyy

i hope by this time u dapat apa yg u nak. and i dont want to become weepy and sad anymore. i want to be angry with u. i prefer the anger.getting angry for no reason is better. anger is hot and satisfying and gives me something to cling on to. i want to feel sorry for myslef without any sympathetic words. i want to be illogical,irational,self pitying and i want to do it alone. tqvm.

My day started at about 3.30pm when i suddenly make up my mind to go out.on the spot, i texted batch and asked her to get ready to go to parade.batch,being a super girl didnt complain much for the sudden plan and get her butt of untuk bersiap.she asked me earlier to lepak but i tought i just want to have a typical lazy ass holiday je today,tapi tiba2 teringin nak makan luar pulak.

picked up batch then went straight to parade.first thing of all,we went to MPH and i bought 'thanks for the memories',another collection of cecelia ahern's.finished buying,we decided to find some place to lepak and to have some foods and ofcourse,to read the new book.oh.and batch brought her 'bahasa melayu untuk perniagaan' book along.haha.finals beb.i wonder what bahasa melayu have to do with perniagaan.i'll kill myslef if they ever invented bahasa melayu untuk perguaman.

so seperti biasalah,batch and alia being a normal batch+alia, couldnt make up their mind to pick a place to eat.it took us like 15minutes this time.not bad.not bad at all.:P keputusan dibuat and,we decided to go to secret recipe. as soon as we were sitted,we quickly try to attract the waitress attention.lapar ok.

subang parade's SR has the poorest service i tell u.you have to try very hard to get their attantion.do wateva it takes.'sweet' like u r at mapley if u want.food will be serve after 20mins onlyyy if u're lucky enough.if u ordered 2 RO water,its normal if they just served u one.now i wonder if they really did the writing when taking order or it was just u know,to look convincing infront of us.looking at u guys working itself is never convincing at all.pfft.

we immediately scanned the menu after getting it.despite the poor service,we were excited to eat and to enjoy our evening. we love the place and the food anyway.due to the never ending financial problem i have,we decided to share the bill.so we ordered mushroom soup,chicken cordon,pepsi and 2 RO water.we sit there long enough to makan,borak2,scan2 orang,amik gambar and kutuk every couple sitted around us.its lovely to be single kan :D

then went to buy donuts at big apple.it was around 6 when we went out from parade.instead of going straight home,we decided to have some drinks anywhere.and YES we couldnt decide for a place.this time it took us like 30 mins.pusing2 around ss15 couple of times.mula2 we even parked the car infront of darusssalam.at the end,tak jadi nak minum sana sbb theres this one group of guy yg kurang menyenangkan.so,we decided to go to taipan.

dekat taipan,pusing2 dua kali baru lah buat keputusan utk lepak kat kayu.it was at 6.30 when we arrived there.ordered teh ais and carrot susu and at 6.45 we went back to batch's.15 mins for a drink is just what we need. tak kesah lah jauh2 pon kan batch :D haha.today,i saw 4 caldina.or was it 5? best! envyy gile dgn pemandu dia.ohh and chicken cordon sedap gileee.




pergilah try!

.dentist.jalan tar.pavilion.sunway pyramid.jaja's open house.nisa's open house.

penat gila.

oh2.just finished reading yasmin ahmad's latest post.i'm so proud of u aunt min.

pergilah baca.best jugak

tadi jumpe naadira.die perli post politics smlm.maliq pon.

jahat kan mereka?

basirah pulak,suka sgt ke PV.tah pape.hari ni,dia bak birthday girl.semua wish dia was granted.

happy birthday batch.

farhana,tak habis-habis suruh raja muda johor jadi orang biasa.

aneh beliau.

inilah cerita saya hari ini.best tak?

x best sudah.

selamat malam.silap warna kan.eh.sukahatilah.line terakhir,nak guna semua warna merah.

bye2

Blame me for being super bored this whole day. i'm going to write.in case u havent noticed,Karpal Singh has been suspended for two days from the dewan rakyat. u guys should see what he said to the speaker of the house. how he insulted him. kaw2 gile ah .and when he was asked to live the place,he refused and said 'saya tak akan keluar'. it was rather emotional. too much emotion lah malaysian political ni.we r very sensitive, emotional. Bila tak bole argue atau jawap dgn facts, terus guna bad words.

anwar in defending karpal singh stated that the speaker was acting emotional himself by his desicion to suspend karpal when there actually have been worse statement made by the members of the house without any action taken against it.in my personal point of view,i think the speaker acted professional under relevant standing order.being a malaysian and looking at his achievement and determined actions troughout all these years, i personally envy and respect karpal singh. but by using offensive words and acted emotionally was rather unprofessional for a lawyer like him.

oh shit.i really dont want to write about politics.but i already did lah kan.haha.u know,we the malaysian kuat sgt beremosi dan berangan.i was searching for the education system in malaysia when i came across a statement yg sgt2 disturbing.its 'U*** is the world class university.' ohmy.ohmy. am i allowed to do this? i'm not condeming any universities anyway.but i just thought its just too much for our local universities to even think about it.i'm talking about both the ipta n ipts.like yelah,look at ourself!

sukaaa sgt declare world class. like best angklong player in the world lah.world class uni lah.perhaps U*** is world class among the only-MALAY-undergraduate universities. and angklong? sure no fight lah,sebab siapa nak main angklong lagi selain malaysian? its really fine to make such a cita-cita. but not without constructive sollution by the goverment and the people to bring our education level stpes further..with good afford we certainly will be there,someday.

the typical BOLEH-land declaration- 'SAYA ANTI DADAH' 'KATAKAN TAKNAK PADA ROKOK' 'SELANGOR DEVELOPED STATE' 'PJ BANDAR MAJU' etc.etc. when will we stop kidding ourself?

presenting the two posers of the day

bye2 melaka.sy tak suke awk.
happy holidays dear frens

:D

dear, otak.

u are prohibited to think of any unnecessary things tonight. no more stupid dreams for tonight please. i am sleepy and tired. i need my normal sleep back la sebab i have exam tomorrow. goodnite sleep without those dreams. so otak,tolong behave tau!

selamat malam semua.

i can say no.i can say no whenever i like.

fine.screw things up.

i'm not going to screw it up!

yes u will.

no i bloody wont!

u're living in a total fantasyland.

i! am! not!

you definitely are.stop storing up touble!

i'm not storing up trouble!

yes u are!

NO i'm no--- wait.ok.i messed things up lately.




LOOK. if u really want to know what IS going on,i'll tell. NOTHING is right since things happened. thats whats going on.

saying goodbye is never going to be easy for us. syam, its not even a day and i already miss you. hope u arrived safely in egypt.

the 4th day of raya

berbuka puasa on 26th august

i'm glad we spent your final days in msia together. take care syam.

my final exam will be on:

tuesday - 2.30 pm
thursday - 2.30 pm
sunday - 9.00 am

next week

wednesday - 2.30 pm
friday - 3pm

best of luck people!

kay ah. cani ah aliakama(real). u really want this kan. i x kesah u kutuk i. tp when u kutuk my frens,i think its just too much lah syg.final exam dah dekat. do u have any idea berapa byk dosa u buat semenjak berkecimpung dgn my blog ni? let me list it out.

1) menggunakan perkataan2 kotor melayu di blog2 orang.
2) mengutuk ciptaan tuhan dgn warna dan tahap kehenseman
3) menggangu blog org tanpa dijemput
4) membaca blog dgn perassan irihati dan hati yg penuh dendam.
5) watched porn time exam
6) memburukkan nama orang lain.
7) yg terakhir,berseronok ketika melakukan aktiviti ni sendiri adalah tidak bertamadun.


jadi,cmni lah.final dah dekat. since sume org tgh pissed off dgn cara u yg dah over the limit i rase sume org yg bace blog ni akan ckp yg buruk2 je pasal u. kalau anything happen to ur result,x rase takut ke? tuhan maha adil. stop viewing dirty side lah weh.its unhealthy la for exam. i takan doa buruk2 utk u.i tau doa org yg teraniaya cmni mmg senang termakbul.since i dok mmu,alhamdulillah god did gave me some miracle by my doa. i slalu doa, ape2 yg org buat kat i,bia la die rase balik sendiri satu hari nnt. i am not a good person indeed. tp i try my best ta nak kacau and ta nak kwn dgn sape2. u? u btol2 nak kwn ke? ala.sian u.. tapi cari la kat tmpt lain eh? pls?

i want you caldina baby

too much to ask for ke? ta kan..

I could honestly say

You've been on my mind

Since i woke up today

i look at your photograph all the time

These memories come back to life

And i dont mind

I remember when we kissed

I still feel it on my lips

The time that you danced with me

With no music playing

But i remember those simple things

I remember till i cry

But the one thing i wish i'd forget

A memory i wanna forget

Is goodbye

Suddenly my cell phone's glowing up

With your ring tone

I hesitate but answer it anyway

You sound so alone

And I'm surprise to hear you say

You Remember when we kissed

You still feel it on our lips

The time that you danced with me

With the no music playing

You remember those simple thing

We talked till we cried

You said that your biggest regret

The one thing you wish i'd forget

Is saying goodbye

Saying goodbye

yeay.its raya. my final exam will be on the 7th and syam will be going to egypt on the same date. so,little to cheer huh? sumpah i'm so stress out with my studies. tons and tons of cases,sections,acts and facts that i have to memorized. i'm so going to puke if i ever come across names like dalip bhagwan singh lagi! damn i'm so freaking nervous for this upcoming exam. can feel the tense of being a degree student. sumpah it wasnt the same when we were in foundation year back then.

enough saying. i havent fully prepared for my raya day. i havent buy any shoes for god sake. my kain baju kurung havent alter yet. i havent buy any jeans. i didnt even shop for anything! luckily my super mom had bought u know,some stuff for me. so i guess its not going to be dat bad lah raye ni. i'm thingking of going out tomorow. tu buy some shoes and clutch. dats the most important thing kot. kalau ta cane nak raye do. wawawa.

kesian budak2 mmu ta dapat raya tahun ni. the phrase 'exam2 jugak raya ttp raya' sgt ta bole pakai skrg. berani,gunalah. :P i'm going to celebrate,anyway.

maliq..seriusly by texting me whenever u went shopping and spending rm300++ of ur abg's money, u are not helping me.biatch.

mahuu raye!! wawawawa

bahasa ibunda

haha.geli hati melihat jane menulis: blogger yang menggunakan bahasa melayu kelihatan seksi dan menarik.

mahu cuba dgn sy tak?
mari!
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
oh ya rakan2 subang.berilah pendapat anda untuk tempat berbuka puasa jumaat kelak.sebelum itu,untuk rakan2 subang yang masih tidak jelas dengan planasinya,disini anda pergi (here u go):
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

hari-jumaat

tarikh-26th september.

tempat-perlu bincang!

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

setiap tahun adalah menjadi rutin untuk kami pulang dan berbuka puasa bersama.sekarang sy pasti ada yg mula berpikir "tahun lepas ade ke buke same?".sy sendiri keliru dengan aktiviti tahun lepas dan tahun sebelum tahun lepas itu.jgn berasa bodoh hanya kerana ini kerana ya,ingatan manusia ada batasnya.dan sy pasti kita semua membataskan ingatan tentang berbuka ini untuk memikirkan perkara lain yg lebih berfaedah.kroohh(pfft).

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

tahun ini saya mengharapkan tempat lain selain tempat2 biasa kami yang bernama pondok pizza dan keni rojes (sedaya upaya memelayukan beliau).mungkin dapat memilih tempat2 jenisan terbuka yang boleh memuatkan kami semua dengan selesa.jika dulu kita ada gazebo.sekarang d'naina mungkin?atau apakata keluar dari subang dan ke tempat2 yg menarik.ya.saya faham sekarang pasti anda akan bertanya "ade ke tmpt lg best dr sbg".kita simpan jawapan itu sendiri.manusia bosan dengan semangat kita.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

sambil berpikir,mari main enjit-enjit semut!

thank u note.
ya Allah.rase mcm byk sgt susahkan orang since khamis haritu.
here are some quick notes to everyone involved.

gha,
thanks bangat tumpangkan rumah.belanja everything and menjadi pendengar yg terbaik.krdt and dinner.thanks utk tshirt and outing to kl jugak.rindu sudah naik bus rapid hari2.hehe.kt syg gha hari2.lebih dari hari2.

zati n the other housemates of gha,
thanks tmpgkan rumah and laptop.

meer,
best dpt kuar dgn korg :P eventhough things didnt went as we planned.and the cuaca sgt panas.tp i had fun.berbuka puasa and all with u guys.

bali dan rakan2 meer yg lain,
tatau asal tapi u guys deserve this thank u note sbb u guys were involved in my drama,anyway.haha.thank u for making us waiting for hours.tp xpelaa..

pojid,
thank u for...em.your number.hahah.thank u for temaning me when they went to surau.i'm glad we meet.after about 3 years xjumpe.

dinee n nash,
em.it was nice to see muarians after dah lame gle xjmpe.it brought back the memories.xde kne mgene ek? :P

basirah,
thank u for checking out on me every now and then.thank u for believing.thank u 4 evrytg.

sara,
thank u for banking in money more than enough.thank u for being caring. and for berbuke tonite.:D

faiz aththayyib,
thank u for..em.just for being there when i feel the need to mencarut and to use bad words.haha.
we have things in common when it comes to our view of society.yeah!

fatin,
u know where u stand.

and to everyone else,thank you for the attention and thanks for being caring.i dont have any intention to make u feel worried.i promise i wont do it again.not in this time being atleast.

dear fatin

the only good thing i have in malacca is you,my other half and my future.
i've lost my other half and i dont want to lose you and my future. today,i went back to malcca just for the sake of my future and you. i want to study well here and make it possible for me to achieve my ambition and to make myself proud of me.i swear i want to be rich.thats the real aim of my life.i dont care what other ppl might say.

oh anyway fatin.
the purpose of me writing this to you is to tell you that i'm trully,madly sorry for what i've done.
i may not be the bestest friend of yours but what i know is you are my whole life.ever since we became close to each other,i knew that i cannot live without you.i can hardly breath without you by my side.the thougth of having you in the same room every nite make me feel secured,make me feel that everything in the world is going to be okay,make me feel someone's is watching me tru the night and for a while,make me feel at home.

this may sounds like craps to ppl who didnt know what we have been tru this two years.
it may sounds like another emo post of mine.but who the hell cares anyway.this is my way to express my feelings.dont tell me to cut the crap because i wont.

fatin,

we have been tru alot together.yes,i mean A LOT.its only 2 years but we have built such a strong relationship together and eventhough you are younger than me,u are like my elder sis.u pampered me too much at times and u took care of me more than anyone could ever done to me in this world.

but yet,i left you behind.
i dont deserve to be forgiven by any chance.its not you.it ws them.it ws the place.it ws the situation.ok,yes,i am running away from my problems.at times i thought i am strong enough to face everything here.but that day,it was too much too bear.i couldnt stayed much longer so i went away.it was my fault.it was nothing yours.you have no idea how much i cried all the way there.all the feelings blend into one.i didnt know where to run.

i needed space for myself.i wish i could bring you along but i dont want to kena tuduh with anyone anymore.i'm sorry dat u have to face this alone.untill now,i feel bad.so bad.fatin,i wanna thank you for everything.

thank you for always being there for me.
thank u for choosing me as your rummate.
thank u for crying all nite long with me when he blew evrtg.
thank u for holding my hand when i miss being hold.
thank u for the hug when i feel lost.
thank u for the kiss when u are horny.
thank u for giving a smile when i was scared.
thank u for cooking me dinner.
thank u for the memories of your car.
thank u for bringing me to pantai puteri when i thought i've lost everything.
thank u for teaching me to cook rice.
thank u for scolding me for being bad.
thank u for staying up just to listen to my story.
thank u for sharing the lauhgter.
thank u for believing in me when everone doesnt.
thank u for understanding me when the whole world was against me.
thank u for being just fatin.
thank u for everything.


i'm sory for being a bad friend of yours.i need you more than you ever need me.

fatin and i went to seremban. had an invitation from shad's emak for berbuka puasa and since i'm not in a very good mood we decided to spent a nite there. they said i looked terrible at times and i havent slightly moved on which i thought was very not true.because,i know i moved on.atleast skit ah.



the journey started at about 11 something,had to settle things in campus in the morning. fatin drove the kelisa all the way from malacca and we arrived at senawang at about 12 smtg.all the way from malacca i felt released.somehow,a little bit of stress had gone by the miles.



the journey to 'taman guru' was kinda easy.after all senawang is not that big nor busy.the 1st few things that came out from our mouth while entering shad's place was,'besarr gile' best gile'. shad was upstairs when we entered and we already make ourself like home before being told.


23.10.2008- i'm not going to finish this anyway.just thingking of posting it.its been in the draft since that day.it was a memorable journey.

i tried to lie. but they acknowledged everything.

you... :(

since sume org tgh in a sad mood,jom post gmbr! lol.

instead of looking all good and noice,why not look silly?

the fatin's version

dah2.get back to normal

p/s-gimme back my smile.and my heart .sampai hati:(

bye you

finally,everything sudah come to an end.

Is it truly possible to be in love with two people at the same time? or is that just something people say when they're afraid to admit how they truly feel?enough to make you feel that you cant even choose to be with one .its a horrible fact as you could infact lose two people at the same time. how do you choose and let the other loved person down. its like choosing witch arm to chop off. you need them both for different things.

the only answer that i am trying to confirm is that its possibly the most heart rendering experience of anyone life. atleast,it is for me.we've known eachother for a very short term.but somehow,the memories distracted my daily life.i have a confession to make.i regreted each and everyday i've spent with you.the most ironic part, i regreted the fact that i've known u.its like,only two month.kalau xkenal pon xpe.xde la membebankan sgt.u gained my respect for being honest.thats for sure.

atleast dont ever think that i expected it to be not more than just frens.that was because deep inside i feel insecured.dont blame me for that.atleast dont make such an alasan.
i have trust issues and the biggest regret of all was putting my trust on u.and it wasnt just trust.it was love.watever it is,i'm happy i back off.

Bottom line, I stopped acting.i think i have made the right thing.this is another chapter of my life.its a good experience indeed.

lets post some randoms thought.

if you think i am like any other ordinary people who can easily get jealous and merajuk with small2 things,u are so wrong. i am sensitive.more than u realised. things that org lain rase is not a big issue,sometimes gave the biggest impact to me.deal with it lah kan.i'm not boasting around with my sensitiveness. i am not proud of it at all.

i think this whole ptptn thing is a crap.cut the crap lah wahai kerajaan.i've been leaving around the people who is involve with this loan system.me,myself have been following and temaning fatin everywhere to settle her ptptn from the very beggining.bende ni sgtlah menyusahkan pelajar.getting the stamp and signature from the school itself is not an easy task.imagine if we are leaving in melaka and our former school is at kelantan.and imagine we accidently forgot to 'cop' one of the precious ppr,(it was a lot of it in the envelope i tell u) then wat? kene balik all the way to kelantan balik? pfft. i heard about ppl ulang alik balik rumah to settle things.yg dkt2 xpelah gak.not to mention about the loan they gave. some of my fren didnt even get full loan.afta all the hustle and bus tickects they paid for 'cop'.sape nak byr balik? not to forget, the payment basis that can easily increase whenever they the goverment feel like it.yeay. go2 kerajaan!


oh.speaking about kerajaan,its not too late for me to just write a short post about 2009 budget kan.some of the budget really distracted my kepala otak.funniest thing of all,they announced theres no need for citizen to make any payment for electricity bill under rm20 .yeay! long live kerajaan! little to cheer huh? cmon lah. think about it.u tell me who the hell gune electric less thn rm20 a MONTH? on the other hand i think selangor's pkr is doing their job, good.so far so good i'd say.tp not to puji much,we'll see the development later ye.

girls,show to the world that we have the girl power.fucked up all those retards that have been burdening our mind and soul,namely-men.omg.i sounds sexist! trust me i'm not. but in times like this,when most of the girls lost their power to men, i think i should speak up.hahah.ye2 je.

dah lah.i've lost my sense of randomness.wek.love2.bye

Ya Allah.
ampunilah dosa ibubapa ku.
sayangilah mereka seperti yang mereka sayang aku sewaktu aku kecil dulu.
kau ambillah nyawa ku sebelum ahli keluarga ku.
lindungilah kami dari dianiaya manusia,jin,syaitan dan makhluk halus.
golongkanlah kami di kalangan orang-orang yang beriman.

Ya Allah Ya Tuhanku
bijak dan pandaikanlah aku dalam pelajaran.
tabahkanlah hati aku dalam segala perkara yang aku lalui.
lindungi aku daripada dimusuhi sebaliknya biarlah semua orang menyukai,menyintai dan menyenangi diriku.

Ya Allah.
kuatkanlah imanku dan dia.
kau tunjukkanlah kebenaran padaku ya Allah.
berikan aku kekuatan untuk memberi dan menerima.
kau tunjukkanlah jalan yang benar.
aku rela kau ambil dia jauh dariku jika dia untuk orang lain.

Ya Allah.
janganlah panjangkan umur aku lebih dari ahli keluargaku.
janganlah biar aku cinta sesuatu lebih dari mu.
janganlah biar aku menjadi lemah dari yang aku mampu.
janganlah berhenti mengujiku Ya Allah.

Ya Allah.
ampunkan dosaku yang selalu meletakkan sesuatu lebih darimu Ya Allah.
ampunkan dosa-dosa ku,ibu bapaku,adik beradikku,kaum keluargaku dan seluruh umat islam ya Allah.

amin ya rabbal alamin



happr ramadhan dear readers